Squidhood
by SquidwardTennisballs18
Summary: Before, was Squidward's life from the beginning to the present never told, until now.
1. Chapter 1 (1965-1969)

Chapter 1 : 1965-1969

The year was 1965, it was a cold October day in the area of Bikini Bottom, a small town with a population of 268. The Commodity Hospital (renamed EMERGENCY! in the 80's) was the go to place for when you were having a baby, as in the case of this couple.

The scene cuts to the Delivery room, where a 31 year old woman is in labor and begins pushing while a 29 year old man is there for backup.

"Okay , just two more pushes." Says, Dr. James McCoy (Age 42), a baby specialist. does so. Eventually, the doctor raised the bundle of joy has pushed out.

"You have a son." He says. "We have a son!" Yells, the man in joy. begins crying in joy and relief. McCoy hands the baby octopus to . "Hey there little fella." She says to him.

"We have to name him." Says, the man. "Should we name him after you Scott?" Says, . "Nah, I want my boy to grow up with his own title, ummm, how about Reginald?"

"No way, this is the 60's, not the 40's, we don't follow mainstream society anymore." "Ok uh, how about Tyler?" "No." "Bill?" "UhUh." "Leslie?" "That's a girl's name!" "Well I don'.." Scott is interrupted when accidentally stepping on a nail. "ARRGH! UGH! BARNACLE FISH SQUID WARD PASTE UGHH!" "That's it! Squidward it is!"

"Squidward?" Scott says. "Yeah, I like it." He adds on. "At least we didn't name him Shirley." "Scott!" She says. "What?!" He responds with.

September 4, 1967, a nice brisky day. "I gotta say Mrs.T, this is some fine apple cider you made." Says, Antoinette, one of ' friends. "Thank you Anti!" She says. "Where's Scott?" Asks, Mildred, another friend. "Oh he's off playing golf with his buddies, he of course took his "lucky" putting iron, only luck it's bringing him is misfortune."

The three women laugh at their little gossip." "Man do I love that guy though, especially since we had brought little Squiddy into the world." The women turn and say aww to a now bigger baby Squidward, who is sitting in his high chair sucking on his milk bottle.

Squidward takes the bottle out of his mouth. "Cla..cla.." "Hey! I think he is trying to say something!" Says, Antoinette. "Cla..cla..clarina..clarinet." Says, Squidward. "CLARINET! CLARINET! MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE'S FIRST WORD! YAHOO!" says.

"Oh this is going into the scrap book for sure!" adds on. The other friends cheer in excitement while baby Squidward gets excited in his chair at all of the reactions. The front door opens and entering is Scott with a scowl.

"I HATE GOLF!" He says slamming his putting iron to the floor. "I see Scotty had lost as usual." Mildred says. "Shut up Mildred! Nobody asked you!" Mildred says, "And nobody asked me to the prom either. You know, we, the same High School class, I had to go to the prom with my dad!" She adds on.

"That was 13 years ago! Get over it!" He says." "How's the baby?" Scott says to . "He said his first word! Clarinet!" "He did? Huh, my little tyke is already speaking the English language, man will he hate the class later on."

Scott picks up a scent and covers his nose. "Pew! What's that smell?" "Oh uh looks like Squiddy just left a little gift for us in his diaper." Baby Squidward cries while Mrs.T goes into the kitchen to change his diaper from the doodie. Scott sits down turning the TV on and cracking open a beer he had kept under his chair.

"Disgusting!" Mildred squawks while she and Antoinette begin leaving. "You don't need to talk about your High School picture Milly." He says before taking a gulp.

November 11, 1968, Squidward is a 3 year old little kid and shows his mom a picture. "Mommy! I color Daddy picture!" smiles as she sees that her son has scribbled a mess all over Scott's High School Senior picture. "That is very thoughtful!" says.

Squidward then scampers to his Dad who is watching a controversial TV program. "Daddy look! Mommy said you picture I color be fightful!" Scott looks at the photo and is disappointed it is ruined but hides his true feelings. "That is um, great, Squidward." He says. Scott then puts his beer down.

"Okay son, you may only be 3, but I think you should learn this now, see those fish on the TV." "Fish!" Squidward yells. "Pay attention to the ones in black face, you see those ones right?" "Why they in black face?" Squidward asks. "Well son, those are well, what us adults including myself call them, the N word, but for your case, I want you to call them the colored, they are a nasty group of thugs who will kill you at every corner, you don't want to die do you?"

Squidward shakes his head as a No. "Good." Scott says. Mama Tentacles comes storming in overhearing the conversation. She unplugs the Tv and cuts the wire. "Hey! I was watching that woman!" He says. "Don't listen to your father Squidward!"

Mama Tentacles hands Squid his toy tractor. "Can you play in the other room?" "Ok!" Squidward yells in all of his young innocence. He runs off. "I can't believe you Scott! Trying to teach our 3 year old son the disgusting ways of racism!" Scott defends himself, "He's gotta learn! I don't want them nig.. "DON'T SAY THAT!" Mama Tentacles yells out. "I don't want the blacks around our KID!" Scott yells.

"All fish are created equal! Homophobe!" Mama Tentacles shouts at the top of her lungs. "Ok, if you want to raise our son like them punk ass baby boomers, you go ahead! Make him gay while you're at it!" Scott storms out of the house. "Pig!" Mama Tentacles says. She goes into the Kitchen and sniffles.

October 9, 1969, The Tentacles family including Squidward, show up to a nice looking manor to celebrate Squidward's 4th birthday. "Where are we Mommy?" Squidward asks. "Your father has reconnected with an old College buddy who is continuing his rich family his father put together and we are going to meet them. They have a four year old child as well, I think you two will get along!" She says. Squidward looks uneasy due to being socially anxious.

"Scotty!" Yells an overweight and fancy looking octopus with two horizontal unibrows parallel to each other. "Squi Squi!" Scott says in return. "Rich oil tycoon, casino enterprises entrepreneur and record producer, never forgotten!" Scott adds on. Squilliam JR greets .

"It is splendid to finally meet you Mrs.T, the old S-Bag has good taste!" blushes. "Aw shucks, you gonna make me crush." She says. Scott shows some jealousy. Another young octopus woman strolls up. "Tentacles and Tentacles, this is my wife, Agnes." "It is pleasant to get to know you." Says, Agnes.

"I see you brought your kid along Scott." Squilliam JR says to Scott about Squidward. "That I did. Where's your kid?" "Squilliam!" A young four year old octopus exits a room and him and Squidward stare at each other. "You got a playdate Squilliam the III." and Agnes guide the children to the Pavilion Room where the playdate will be held. "Let's catch up bud." Squilliam JR says to Scott.

After the women leave to go and get to know each other while their husbands go outside to play horseshoe, Squilliam the III faces Squidward. "What's your name?" Asks, the mini Squilliam. After some hesitation and shyness, Squidward says his name. "My name is Squilliam the III but you can call me Squilliam since people call my Dad Squi-Squi when he is actually Squilliam JR. I have a big vocabulary." He says.

Squidward starts to get a little more comfortable. "What you like to do?" He says. "I like to sew clothes, organize, write, play the clarinet and draw pictures. I don't like girls, they're cooties bait." "Me too!" Squidward says in a very enthusiastic tone of voice.

Squidward and Squilliam shake hands and got each others backs. "Bff forever right?" Squidward says. "Bff forever." Squilliam responds with.

Outside, Scott looks on in disappointment seeing Squi Squi get many points. "Ringer!" He yells.


	2. Chapter 2 (1970)

Chapter 1 : 1965-1969

The year was 1965, it was a cold October day in the area of Bikini Bottom, a small town with a population of 268. The Commodity Hospital (renamed EMERGENCY! in the 80's) was the go to place for when you were having a baby, as in the case of this couple.

The scene cuts to the Delivery room, where a 31 year old woman is in labor and begins pushing while a 29 year old man is there for backup.

"Okay , just two more pushes." Says, Dr. James McCoy (Age 42), a baby specialist. does so. Eventually, the doctor raised the bundle of joy has pushed out.

"You have a son." He says. "We have a son!" Yells, the man in joy. begins crying in joy and relief. McCoy hands the baby octopus to . "Hey there little fella." She says to him.

"We have to name him." Says, the man. "Should we name him after you Scott?" Says, . "Nah, I want my boy to grow up with his own title, ummm, how about Reginald?"

"No way, this is the 60's, not the 40's, we don't follow mainstream society anymore." "Ok uh, how about Tyler?" "No." "Bill?" "UhUh." "Leslie?" "That's a girl's name!" "Well I don'.." Scott is interrupted when accidentally stepping on a nail. "ARRGH! UGH! BARNACLE FISH SQUID WARD PASTE UGHH!" "That's it! Squidward it is!"

"Squidward?" Scott says. "Yeah, I like it." He adds on. "At least we didn't name him Shirley." "Scott!" She says. "What?!" He responds with.

September 4, 1967, a nice brisky day. "I gotta say Mrs.T, this is some fine apple cider you made." Says, Antoinette, one of ' friends. "Thank you Anti!" She says. "Where's Scott?" Asks, Mildred, another friend. "Oh he's off playing golf with his buddies, he of course took his "lucky" putting iron, only luck it's bringing him is misfortune."

The three women laugh at their little gossip." "Man do I love that guy though, especially since we had brought little Squiddy into the world." The women turn and say aww to a now bigger baby Squidward, who is sitting in his high chair sucking on his milk bottle.

Squidward takes the bottle out of his mouth. "Cla..cla.." "Hey! I think he is trying to say something!" Says, Antoinette. "Cla..cla..clarina..clarinet." Says, Squidward. "CLARINET! CLARINET! MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE'S FIRST WORD! YAHOO!" says.

"Oh this is going into the scrap book for sure!" adds on. The other friends cheer in excitement while baby Squidward gets excited in his chair at all of the reactions. The front door opens and entering is Scott with a scowl.

"I HATE GOLF!" He says slamming his putting iron to the floor. "I see Scotty had lost as usual." Mildred says. "Shut up Mildred! Nobody asked you!" Mildred says, "And nobody asked me to the prom either. You know, we, the same High School class, I had to go to the prom with my dad!" She adds on.

"That was 13 years ago! Get over it!" He says." "How's the baby?" Scott says to . "He said his first word! Clarinet!" "He did? Huh, my little tyke is already speaking the English language, man will he hate the class later on."

Scott picks up a scent and covers his nose. "Pew! What's that smell?" "Oh uh looks like Squiddy just left a little gift for us in his diaper." Baby Squidward cries while Mrs.T goes into the kitchen to change his diaper from the doodie. Scott sits down turning the TV on and cracking open a beer he had kept under his chair.

"Disgusting!" Mildred squawks while she and Antoinette begin leaving. "You don't need to talk about your High School picture Milly." He says before taking a gulp.

November 11, 1968, Squidward is a 3 year old little kid and shows his mom a picture. "Mommy! I color Daddy picture!" smiles as she sees that her son has scribbled a mess all over Scott's High School Senior picture. "That is very thoughtful!" says.

Squidward then scampers to his Dad who is watching a controversial TV program. "Daddy look! Mommy said you picture I color be fightful!" Scott looks at the photo and is disappointed it is ruined but hides his true feelings. "That is um, great, Squidward." He says. Scott then puts his beer down.

"Okay son, you may only be 3, but I think you should learn this now, see those fish on the TV." "Fish!" Squidward yells. "Pay attention to the ones in black face, you see those ones right?" "Why they in black face?" Squidward asks. "Well son, those are well, what us adults including myself call them, the N word, but for your case, I want you to call them the colored, they are a nasty group of thugs who will kill you at every corner, you don't want to die do you?"

Squidward shakes his head as a No. "Good." Scott says. Mama Tentacles comes storming in overhearing the conversation. She unplugs the Tv and cuts the wire. "Hey! I was watching that woman!" He says. "Don't listen to your father Squidward!"

Mama Tentacles hands Squid his toy tractor. "Can you play in the other room?" "Ok!" Squidward yells in all of his young innocence. He runs off. "I can't believe you Scott! Trying to teach our 3 year old son the disgusting ways of racism!" Scott defends himself, "He's gotta learn! I don't want them nig.. "DON'T SAY THAT!" Mama Tentacles yells out. "I don't want the blacks around our KID!" Scott yells.

"All fish are created equal! Homophobe!" Mama Tentacles shouts at the top of her lungs. "Ok, if you want to raise our son like them punk ass baby boomers, you go ahead! Make him gay while you're at it!" Scott storms out of the house. "Pig!" Mama Tentacles says. She goes into the Kitchen and sniffles.

October 9, 1969, The Tentacles family including Squidward, show up to a nice looking manor to celebrate Squidward's 4th birthday. "Where are we Mommy?" Squidward asks. "Your father has reconnected with an old College buddy who is continuing his rich family his father put together and we are going to meet them. They have a four year old child as well, I think you two will get along!" She says. Squidward looks uneasy due to being socially anxious.

"Scotty!" Yells an overweight and fancy looking octopus with two horizontal unibrows parallel to each other. "Squi Squi!" Scott says in return. "Rich oil tycoon, casino enterprises entrepreneur and record producer, never forgotten!" Scott adds on. Squilliam JR greets .

"It is splendid to finally meet you Mrs.T, the old S-Bag has good taste!" blushes. "Aw shucks, you gonna make me crush." She says. Scott shows some jealousy. Another young octopus woman strolls up. "Tentacles and Tentacles, this is my wife, Agnes." "It is pleasant to get to know you." Says, Agnes.

"I see you brought your kid along Scott." Squilliam JR says to Scott about Squidward. "That I did. Where's your kid?" "Squilliam!" A young four year old octopus exits a room and him and Squidward stare at each other. "You got a playdate Squilliam the III." and Agnes guide the children to the Pavilion Room where the playdate will be held. "Let's catch up bud." Squilliam JR says to Scott.

After the women leave to go and get to know each other while their husbands go outside to play horseshoe, Squilliam the III faces Squidward. "What's your name?" Asks, the mini Squilliam. After some hesitation and shyness, Squidward says his name. "My name is Squilliam the III but you can call me Squilliam since people call my Dad Squi-Squi when he is actually Squilliam JR. I have a big vocabulary." He says.

Squidward starts to get a little more comfortable. "What you like to do?" He says. "I like to sew clothes, organize, write, play the clarinet and draw pictures. I don't like girls, they're cooties bait." "Me too!" Squidward says in a very enthusiastic tone of voice.

Squidward and Squilliam shake hands and got each others backs. "Bff forever right?" Squidward says. "Bff forever." Squilliam responds with.

Outside, Scott looks on in disappointment seeing Squi Squi get many points. "Ringer!" He yells.


End file.
